Its very easy to get lost in yourself and also lose the ability to find solace and advice from your belief system. Sometimes life just takes over, it just does and I wish sometimes I could take step back and survey the field a little, ask advice from others, or the gods if you’re that way inclined. When something hurts we lash out, or we make snap judgement calls that at that moment just feels right. It feels like the best thing to do. I myself am a massive culprit of this character trait, and all it gets me is regret or a self loathing that simply doesn’t help me or the person in the situation.
I often wonder how the gods would deal with such things, how would Odin manage a situation where it’s full of hurt? How would Freyja? and sometimes I even find myself looking to Loki. I wonder how if at that moment a god has simply snapped or lashed out, or is it just part of the human condition? Today as I write this my soulmate is flying home, but we didn’t part on a perfectly, it wasn’t bad but it wasn’t great, I said some things through fear and through being selfish, Loki must have played a part in this and tears had flown. I will see her again and I miss her but now I sit full of regret waiting for her to land to tell her how sorry I am and that I miss her.
Why as human’s do we lash out? Why cant we just sit and wait a second before making snap choices. It’s something I need to learn and something I need to spend time working on, with the help and guidance from the gods its something I want to change in myself. Life I have noticed is just full of lessons and i hope one day I will learn enough to know what it means to be human and treat everyone the same.